profile journal exits cmmts

Every morning you wake with beliefs
Mostly bias statements but yours,
none the less.
I wake up with pure freedom
I wake up with more conundrums but,
I will be myself and no one elses
Possestion.
Ill say good morning to all colors.
The Rainbow.
Good by over run people filled with lies,
Im Free.

This Was Then:I know I haven't been on in forever and I'm honestly not that sorry. I was having some troubles being a normal teenager and was then fixing my over-the-top-more-then-just-teen-problems. Now it's Now: I'm still in love with John Rickel, he will forever more be my one and only love. I love painting, sing to stupid silly songs and i love to swing arms with my lovely, John. I Have new ideas, new oppinions, and new ways to deal with life so be ready to deal.

God, so much drama in my family. my dad is going through his second divorce, yes it's just as fun as it sounds...

sooooo. Ahhhhhhhhf.
I need to put some stuff on this site...hmmm.
I don't think you understand.
I am the air, a being with no home
I can't talk.i have no mouth.
im sad, im alone.
If I were a bird, I'd fly into the sea.
I'd fly into the sea in hopes that no one would find me for days..
My mind would become my own with no strings pulling my free will
You people go at each other, claws drawn, blood pounding.going in for the kill.
My mouth will speak words you can't even comprehend. won't even understand
Because my mouth will be speaking about how i'm different, it will be so grand.
I'm in love with a boy whose all mine, but you people come in will your sick words. Terrifying
I'll speak back, but my heart is slowly dying..
If i were a bird, I'd fly into the sea.I'd fly into the sea to have all of the freedom of flying,
and all of the beauty that is rarely seen.
I will be My Own.
In the morning. I have no make up on, not that i wear that much anyways, i'm all into natural beauty.
It's summer finally even though its slightly chilly here almost as if its almost fall even though we're no where near it.
Well, I've decided self expresstion makes you beautiful. If you do the things you want, cut your hair off, get a faux hawk, pierce your face, you'll have the confidence because it's what you really love. So therefore im getting a faux hawk and getting my belly button pierce.haha. i want a manroe, I LOVE MARILYN!, but dad said i'm not allowed till god tells me, pssh. I'm just waiting till i get my car.
My aunt is 16 and shes a lesbian. shes the bestest thing about my family. haha. i love her because she speaks her friggin' mind without a care to who hears. Katie is the bombdiggity.
I did lie this week, once. I actually didn't lie, I just didn't tell because no one asked. Because no one knew.
I've decided to tell the truth all day tomorrow and im starting now as well. I will not tell a lie and i will choose what to answer and what not and why i don't answer it will be Known to me, no one else.

Send me some appropriate regrets you have, I would like to post them.

REGRETS:
-Lying to Myself
-Not Standing up to Her, To anyone.
-Hurting Myself and not telling him about it.
-Watching myself slowly die, without asking for help.
-Not Telling him that him not telling me stories, that him breaking his promises especially that one, that him not helping me ask for help because i was afraid, that him not telling me his dreams/day dreams/perfect moments would be. That these things hurt me alot on the inside. Am i not good enough to think about? i make up stories for you, can't you do it for me? i tell you my perfect moments, cant this go both ways?

-Leaving you something to think about
-toni bish
I have never met any child so Fucking Terrible to her mother.
Michelle didn't want to take her to walmart because all she ever asks for is toys,toys,TOYS, and michelle doesnt want to waste our grocery money on Danni. So danni comes into the middle of the living room THROWS A TANTRUM when shes SIX!! and kicked a glass off the coffee table, where it broke and if that wasnt bad enough she said "It's all YOUR FAULT mama because YOU won't take me to WALLLLMARRRT!!!!"
I have never hated a child but she is my one exception.
You know what hurts the most? It's not even the fact that i can't be fixed by simply talking to a therapist it's the fact that they don't notice whats WRONG!

I just want you to WANT to be here because i feel like you don't, as if im just an annoyance even though part of me knows i shouldnt, sometimes i do feel your love so much its wonderfully dreamlike but I want love all the time, I need love. I want snuggling that doesnt end because it's love and we should be able to lay there like that. I want a hug and a real kiss that means something even if it is infront of friends. I just want, and more then that Need that. I have been stepped on by the one person thats suppose to help me. She was suppose to pick me up. He was suppose to notice my tears.
I just need your love and you give that to me undeniably sometimes but i wish those rare occastions would happen more often because i need you here. For once im actually asking for help. Won't someone notice and more importantly you?

-leaving you something to think about
-toni bish

Janies Music. Brys. Gabbys Music. Tjs. . . .

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