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welcome
Every morning you wake with beliefs
Mostly bias statements but yours,
none the less.
I wake up with pure freedom
I wake up with more conundrums but,
I will be myself and no one elses
Possestion.
Ill say good morning to all colors.
The Rainbow.
Good by over run people filled with lies,
Im Free.
The Real
This Was Then:I know I haven't been on in forever and I'm honestly not that sorry. I was having some troubles being a normal teenager
and was then fixing my over-the-top-more-then-just-teen-problems. Now it's Now: I'm still in love with John Rickel, he will forever
more be my one and only love. I love painting, sing to stupid silly songs and i love to swing arms with my lovely, John.
I Have new ideas, new oppinions, and new ways to deal with life so be ready to deal.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008, 12:22 PM
Changechangechannnge.
I am an idiot somtimes.I love john very much but i want to go shopping with him to change some things.like his somtimes baggy pants or his JUST ONE COLOR SHIRTS. So this makes me mad that i feel the need to do that, change him when i love him just he way he is.
And i get so mad at myself. I shouldn't feel like i have to change him, the only reason I want to is because in public im just the littlest bit of embarrased when i concentrate on looking so perfect and then my boyfriend comes up and just threw somthing on and didnt do anything to his hair. I love him when we are alone because he looks perfect to me, in every way, even his style EXCEPT FOR THE CAMO SHIRT. So i feel horrible because im only changeing him so some of my friends won't be like
'Why are you dating him when hes so not like you?'
'Your dating him? Hes sweet but...just your both so different'
'He's really sweet but he's still not like YOU.he's not your scene'
and it hurts because he is my scene.he is my life and i want them too see that, that he is like me.we are one person. so i feel this urge to change his style.it just is horrible because im doing it so people will stop talking.I hate it when people talk about me&john. When they talk about me wtfever....but it hurts because I CHOSE HIM.i love him and they can't see why because they can't even see past his clothes. So i want them to see his clothes and think 'whoa he looks cool' and talk to him and completely understand why i want him forever.